think-smarter.com Blog » ITIL Humor http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma would you be sanely insane or insanely sane? Tue, 02 Oct 2007 22:13:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 800ceoread.com http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2007/01/27/800ceoreadcom/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2007/01/27/800ceoreadcom/#comments Sat, 27 Jan 2007 20:23:35 +0000 RS http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2007/01/27/800ceoreadcom/ This is a great site for enterpreneurs and CEO’s who like to read.

800ceoread.com

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2007/01/27/800ceoreadcom/feed/ 0 Has he the change? Or the change him? http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2007/01/12/has-he-the-change-or-the-change-him/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2007/01/12/has-he-the-change-or-the-change-him/#comments Sat, 13 Jan 2007 03:12:32 +0000 RS http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2007/01/12/has-he-the-change-or-the-change-him/ from moneyball …

” Lately in a wreck of a Californian ship, one of the passengers fastened a belt about him with two hundred pounds of gold in it, with which he was dound afterwards at the bottom. Now as he was sinking — had he got the gold or the gold him?

– John Ruskin, Unto his Last

VP of IT Operations at a Fortune 1000 company mentioned that the way he figures out whether there is going to be downtime after a change window is to look at the pattern of change events during a change window (using Solidcore). He says good change windows have the pattern of a lot of change in the begining and then nothing. Bad change windows have two peaks: a lot of change in the begining, then a lot of change in the end. I know at that point Has he the change? Or the change him?

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2007/01/12/has-he-the-change-or-the-change-him/feed/ 0 Would tripwire work for the NFL? http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/12/19/would-tripwire-work-for-the-nfl/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/12/19/would-tripwire-work-for-the-nfl/#comments Tue, 19 Dec 2006 16:15:09 +0000 RS http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/12/19/would-tripwire-work-for-the-nfl/ Rob: did you hear?
Tony: hear what?
Rob: The NFL decided they wanted the equivalent of the yellow line to help the referee’s determine whether the team got the first down or not. They announced a contest: million dollar prize to the winner.
Tony: Its about time they fixed all those mistakes.
Rob: should we try?
Tony: yup … million dollars buys a lot of beers dude!
Rob: any requirements?
Tony: the solution is expected to: (1) tell us in real-time that the line had been crossed; (2) also it should only get tripped when the person carrying the ball crossed it and in the right direction; (3) not effect the normal play.
Rob: any ideas?
Tony: not really … but I remember hearing that our IT uses a product called Tripwire. Let me go ask them what it does … seems like something we could use
Rob: wow man … we could ski al year long
[ … next day …]

Rob: whazz up man … did they let you in?
Tony: yes man … but I got very confused there. They use this thing called tripwire … but it doesn’t trip. Someone could cross it a million times but it trip’s only when the manager decides to go run it.
Rob: that wouldn’t work.
Tony: nope. It will be like having chains … you got to go check each time.
Rob: I can’t imagine using chains on all the machines they have, no wonder they look beat like our referee’s with everyone shouting at them
Tony: It gets worse. This Tripwire they use doesn’t even tell you who crossed it. Or it kind of does, it tells you the last person who crossed it.
Rob: but we would want the first person wouldn’t we?
Tony: yes we would and also not just one person … but every person who crossed the line with the ball.
Rob: so this Tripwire stuff can’t tell you who or when they crossed … what do they use it for?
Tony: I don’t know man …
Rob: maybe your guys are not upto snuff on this stuff … I have a friend who works at this big company and he does something to do with SOX. I remember he was up one night and mentioned tripwire … maybe they already have something like that in baseball … I will check him out.
Tony: later dude
Rob: cya

…to be continued …

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/12/19/would-tripwire-work-for-the-nfl/feed/ 0 Asset Management http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/10/asset-management/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/10/asset-management/#comments Fri, 10 Nov 2006 15:19:28 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/10/asset-management/ Some FIXED assets

  1. Swivel chairs with wheels
  2. Laptops
  3. Elevators
  4. SAP Implementors
  5. ITIL Consultants
]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/10/asset-management/feed/ 0 Hey Nicole Kiddman is here!!! http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/09/hey-nicole-kiddman-is-here/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/09/hey-nicole-kiddman-is-here/#comments Fri, 10 Nov 2006 01:03:08 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/09/hey-nicole-kiddman-is-here/ What is she doing in an change management class?

Don’t know maybe the movie business doesn’t pay that well anymore

Apparently her marriage consellor sent her here

Hmm… and why would that be
Tom and she need to reconcile their differences

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/09/hey-nicole-kiddman-is-here/feed/ 0 ITIL Consultant http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/08/itil-consultant/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/08/itil-consultant/#comments Wed, 08 Nov 2006 14:57:14 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/08/itil-consultant/ service desk talking with change management

“hey, I heard we are being federated,” sd

“and what does that mean,” cm

“we will need to communicate to each other,” sd

“as if we don’t do enough of that,” cm

“honey, communicate is different than talk,” sd

“how so,” cm

“we will need to re-concile our differences,” sd

“you met the marriage counsellor, didn’t you,” cm

“yes i did, but he is now an ITIL consultant,” sd

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/08/itil-consultant/feed/ 0 Waiting in Line http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/06/waiting-in-line/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/06/waiting-in-line/#comments Tue, 07 Nov 2006 02:29:36 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/06/waiting-in-line/ Two changes standing in a long line

“Man, this will take for ever”

“I told my boss, I will be in by end of the week”

“may be your boss should declare an emergency”

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/06/waiting-in-line/feed/ 0 Talking to Strangers http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/05/talking-to-strangers/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/05/talking-to-strangers/#comments Mon, 06 Nov 2006 01:35:58 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/05/talking-to-strangers/ Baby Server said to Mr. Change, “I don’t know you”

“That’s because I am un-authorized”, replied Mr. Change

“My parents asked me not to talk to strangers”, said Baby Server

“I will take you where you have never gone before”, replied Mr. Change

“I will be scolded if my parents find out”, said Baby Server

“They will never find out, I will change my name to your uncle — Mr. Admin”, replied Mr. Change

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/05/talking-to-strangers/feed/ 0 At the movies http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/03/at-the-movies/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/03/at-the-movies/#comments Fri, 03 Nov 2006 14:17:29 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/03/at-the-movies/ What did the small change say to the big change?

“I don’t need a ticket. I will slip in behind you.”

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/03/at-the-movies/feed/ 0 Tickets for the show http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/03/tickets-for-the-show/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/03/tickets-for-the-show/#comments Fri, 03 Nov 2006 14:14:31 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/03/tickets-for-the-show/ He said: I got two tickets for the show. It starts in 45 minutes.
She said: Fantastic. Let me go change.

He said: Honey, we don’t have time

She said: I am not requesting, but informing

He sighed: just like at work

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/03/tickets-for-the-show/feed/ 0 Married Women http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/married-women/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/married-women/#comments Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:19:40 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/married-women/ She said: married women don’t change their name these days

He said: yeah … they don’t like to follow process

She said: the article said, most people don’t want to go through the paperwork

He said: really, filing a change request at work is more complicated than that.

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/married-women/feed/ 0 What’s for dinner? http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/what%e2%80%99s-for-dinner/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/what%e2%80%99s-for-dinner/#comments Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:18:12 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/what%e2%80%99s-for-dinner/ He said: what’s for dinner?

She said: how about something from the ITIL cookbook?

He said: there should be about 50 people

She said: i would recommend the Pink Elephant

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/what%e2%80%99s-for-dinner/feed/ 0 You got another ticket? http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/you-got-another-ticket/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/you-got-another-ticket/#comments Fri, 03 Nov 2006 04:18:01 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/you-got-another-ticket/ He said: you got another ticket?

She said: no way

He said: see they sent a snapshot of the back of your car with your license plate, jumping the red light, from those camera

She said: honey, what day was that

He said: it says last tuesday

She said: hmm… you were towing my car that day. Snapshots never tell the true story.

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/you-got-another-ticket/feed/ 0 Change Management http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/change-management/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/change-management/#comments Thu, 02 Nov 2006 14:57:26 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/change-management/ She said: why are you always talking about change management?

He said: because it is so difficult

She said: well I bought you something which can solve the problem

He said: what is it?

She said: surprise

coin.jpg

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/change-management/feed/ 0 Potty Training http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/potty-training/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/potty-training/#comments Thu, 02 Nov 2006 14:51:55 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/potty-training/ She said: Bob and Joan are struggling to potty train Jack

He said: they should send him to the ITIL class

She said: why?

He said: it is all about release management

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/02/potty-training/feed/ 0 You look beautiful today http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/01/you-look-beautiful-today/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/01/you-look-beautiful-today/#comments Thu, 02 Nov 2006 03:24:05 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/01/you-look-beautiful-today/ He said: you look beautiful today

She smiled: thank you. What’s different?

He said: I can’t remember what you wore yesterday

She said: What #$! you only scan me once a day….

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/01/you-look-beautiful-today/feed/ 0 What comes after birth control? http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/01/what-comes-after-birth-control/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/01/what-comes-after-birth-control/#comments Wed, 01 Nov 2006 12:28:48 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/01/what-comes-after-birth-control/ She Said: what comes after birth control?

He said: change control

She frowned: Wrong. Babies you idiot.

He said: are you pregnant?

She said: I thought an ITIL guru would know “unfreeze, change, freeze“

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/11/01/what-comes-after-birth-control/feed/ 0 Why did BMC buy Remedy? http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/10/31/why-did-bmc-buy-remedy/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/10/31/why-did-bmc-buy-remedy/#comments Wed, 01 Nov 2006 01:18:02 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/10/31/why-did-bmc-buy-remedy/ Why did BMC buy Remedy?

“Because they were in pain”

]]> http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/10/31/why-did-bmc-buy-remedy/feed/ 0 Who is in control? http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/10/31/who-is-in-control/ http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/10/31/who-is-in-control/#comments Tue, 31 Oct 2006 09:45:36 +0000 Administrator http://think-smarter.com/rosen_sharma/2006/10/31/who-is-in-control/ She said: Who is in control?

He Said: You Are

She Said: Thank You

(Kids heard laughing in the background)

… They think they are in control …

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