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Add comment January 27th, 2007
Posts filed under 'ITIL Humor'
Has he the change? Or the change him?
from moneyball …
” Lately in a wreck of a Californian ship, one of the passengers fastened a belt about him with two hundred pounds of gold in it, with which he was dound afterwards at the bottom. Now as he was sinking — had he got the gold or the gold him?
– John Ruskin, Unto his Last
VP of IT Operations at a Fortune 1000 company mentioned that the way he figures out whether there is going to be downtime after a change window is to look at the pattern of change events during a change window (using Solidcore). He says good change windows have the pattern of a lot of change in the begining and then nothing. Bad change windows have two peaks: a lot of change in the begining, then a lot of change in the end. I know at that point Has he the change? Or the change him?
Add comment January 12th, 2007
Would tripwire work for the NFL?
Rob: did you hear?
Tony: hear what?
Rob: The NFL decided they wanted the equivalent of the yellow line to help the referee’s determine whether the team got the first down or not. They announced a contest: million dollar prize to the winner.
Tony: Its about time they fixed all those mistakes.
Rob: should we try?
Tony: yup … million dollars buys a lot of beers dude!
Rob: any requirements?
Tony: the solution is expected to: (1) tell us in real-time that the line had been crossed; (2) also it should only get tripped when the person carrying the ball crossed it and in the right direction; (3) not effect the normal play.
Rob: any ideas?
Tony: not really … but I remember hearing that our IT uses a product called Tripwire. Let me go ask them what it does … seems like something we could use
Rob: wow man … we could ski al year long
[ … next day …]
Rob: whazz up man … did they let you in?
Tony: yes man … but I got very confused there. They use this thing called tripwire … but it doesn’t trip. Someone could cross it a million times but it trip’s only when the manager decides to go run it.
Rob: that wouldn’t work.
Tony: nope. It will be like having chains … you got to go check each time.
Rob: I can’t imagine using chains on all the machines they have, no wonder they look beat like our referee’s with everyone shouting at them
Tony: It gets worse. This Tripwire they use doesn’t even tell you who crossed it. Or it kind of does, it tells you the last person who crossed it.
Rob: but we would want the first person wouldn’t we?
Tony: yes we would and also not just one person … but every person who crossed the line with the ball.
Rob: so this Tripwire stuff can’t tell you who or when they crossed … what do they use it for?
Tony: I don’t know man …
Rob: maybe your guys are not upto snuff on this stuff … I have a friend who works at this big company and he does something to do with SOX. I remember he was up one night and mentioned tripwire … maybe they already have something like that in baseball … I will check him out.
Tony: later dude
Rob: cya
…to be continued …
Add comment December 19th, 2006
Asset Management
Some FIXED assets
- Swivel chairs with wheels
- Laptops
- Elevators
- SAP Implementors
- ITIL Consultants
Add comment November 10th, 2006
Hey Nicole Kiddman is here!!!
What is she doing in an change management class?
Don’t know maybe the movie business doesn’t pay that well anymore
Apparently her marriage consellor sent her here
Hmm… and why would that be
Tom and she need to reconcile their differences
Add comment November 9th, 2006
ITIL Consultant
service desk talking with change management
“hey, I heard we are being federated,” sd
“and what does that mean,” cm
“we will need to communicate to each other,” sd
“as if we don’t do enough of that,” cm
“honey, communicate is different than talk,” sd
“how so,” cm
“we will need to re-concile our differences,” sd
“you met the marriage counsellor, didn’t you,” cm
“yes i did, but he is now an ITIL consultant,” sd
Add comment November 8th, 2006
Waiting in Line
Two changes standing in a long line
“Man, this will take for ever”
“I told my boss, I will be in by end of the week”
“may be your boss should declare an emergency”
Add comment November 6th, 2006
Talking to Strangers
Baby Server said to Mr. Change, “I don’t know you”
“That’s because I am un-authorized”, replied Mr. Change
“My parents asked me not to talk to strangers”, said Baby Server
“I will take you where you have never gone before”, replied Mr. Change
“I will be scolded if my parents find out”, said Baby Server
“They will never find out, I will change my name to your uncle — Mr. Admin”, replied Mr. Change
Add comment November 5th, 2006
At the movies
What did the small change say to the big change?
“I don’t need a ticket. I will slip in behind you.”
Add comment November 3rd, 2006
Tickets for the show
He said: I got two tickets for the show. It starts in 45 minutes.
She said: Fantastic. Let me go change.
He said: Honey, we don’t have time
She said: I am not requesting, but informing
He sighed: just like at work
Add comment November 3rd, 2006
